arXiv:2608.14127v9 [cs.CAT]
pump.fun x.com

Preprint. Submitted to nobody. Rejected anyway. Resubmitted.

Erm, Actually: A Complete Correction
of Everything You Just Said

N. Cat1 · $NERDCAT

Department of Being Right, Institute for Unsolicited Precision

Corresponding author: he will find you

A crudely drawn cat in square glasses raising one finger
Figure 1. The author, mid-point. Note the raised digit: this is load-bearing.

Abstract

You said a thing. It was close. We examine the ways in which it was not the thing, and we do so at a length nobody requested. Section 2 supplies an engine that will correct any statement you can produce, on the grounds that any statement can be corrected. We find no counterexample. We did not look very hard, because we did not need to.

Keywords: erm · actually · well actually · source? · that is a common misconception

1 Introduction

Tap any underlined claim. He has been waiting.

The nerd emoji is a recent invention: it showed up on Twitter in 2022, and its career since has been misreported at every step. The 3D render that everybody now reaches for was drawn for the meme and only later found its audience.

The animal in Figure 1 is a cat with nine lives, wearing spectacles that make him smarter. He holds his position with the raised index finger, an emoji called the pointing hand.

His characteristic utterance is well, actually, deployed in the reply, in the thread, in the server, and once at a funeral. $NERDCAT is a coin with a supply of one billion.

Corrections issued in this session: 0 of 8.

2 The Correction Engine

State something. Anything at all. The engine parses your submission and returns the first defect it finds, ranked by how much it bothers him. It has never returned nothing.

He is going to find something. That is not a threat, it is a specification.

Lifetime corrections issued by this cat: 0. He keeps count. Of course he keeps count.

3 Errata

The following corrections apply to the token as previously described by other people, incorrectly, in a group chat he was not even in.

  1. p.1, l.4 For “a billion coins” read 1,000,000,000 tokens. Two errors in three words is a personal record for the reader.
  2. p.1, l.9 For “the team holds some” read fair launch on pump.fun, no allocation. “Some” is not a quantity. Say a number or say nothing.
  3. p.2, l.1 For “liquidity is locked forever” read liquidity burned at bonding. Locked and burned are different mechanisms with different failure modes, and the distinction is the only interesting part.
  4. p.2, l.6 For “taxes” read zero. A tax funds something. Whatever those other tokens are doing, it is a fee.
  5. p.3, l.2 For “the chart” read a chart. Definite article implies a single canonical chart. There are several and they disagree.
  6. throughout For “coin” read token. See Section 1. He has flagged this three times now.

4 Reproducibility Statement

Our results can be replicated on commodity hardware. A phone is commodity hardware. We include the full procedure so that no step can be described later as unclear.

  1. Obtain a Solana wallet. Phantom, Solflare, Backpack. Any of the three. He has a preference. He will not be sharing it, because the argument that follows would take the rest of the afternoon.
  2. Fund it with SOL. Note that SOL is the coin and $NERDCAT is the token. You have now used both terms correctly, possibly for the first time.
  3. Open the contract address from the bar at the top of this document. It is base58. It is not hexadecimal. Nobody asked, and yet.
  4. Swap. Set slippage yourself instead of clicking auto, then complain about the price impact with full knowledge of what caused it. This is called methodology.
  5. Reply to somebody who is wrong. This step is not optional. It is the utility.

Acquire the token on pump.fun Yes, “acquire”. “Ape” is not a verb.

5 References

  1. Unicode Consortium. Unicode 8.0.0, U+1F913 NERD FACE. 2015.
  2. Shutterstock contributor, untitled 3D render of a nerd face. 2019. Sold to an unknown number of quarterly business reviews before its real work began.
  3. @anglwantr. “Ooh this is a great album but ooooh the mixing.” Twitter, January 2022. The first strike.
  4. Unicode Consortium. U+261D INDEX POINTING UP. Descended from the manicule, the pointing hand medieval readers drew in the margins to flag a passage nobody else considered important.
  5. Assorted Discord servers, 2022 to present. Where the cat and the finger were finally welded together into a single reaction image, deployed within four seconds of anyone rounding pi to 3.
  6. N. Cat. “A Reply To Your Reply.” Unpublished. Ongoing. 41,000 words.